Types of people you see in the gym

No matter where you are in the world, you will always see the same types of people in the gym, regardless if you are at Fitness Center or a hardcore “Man’s gym”. Most people come in, work out and leave. Others on the other hand have the uncanny knack of being really annoying.

1.The Sweaty and Smelly guy: This has got to be one of the worst people in the gym. The equivalent of King Midas but instead everything he touches turns to Ass. Leaving a stench saturated pool of sweat behind him on every bench, you are left with the gross task of wiping this bench clean.

You could go and ask him to do it, but you don’t want to risk him giving you the “Sorry about that mate” tap on the shoulder, infecting your clothes with that rancid smell and soaking them at the same time. Often the solution is to wait for someone else to do it or even better for someone to lie in it.

2.The Screamer: We’ve all been there, you doing your thing at the gym and then the next thing you hear is “RAHHHHHHHHHHHH GRRRRRRRRRR MMMMMMMM OOOO OOOO OOO RAHHHHHHHHHHH GRRRRRRRRRR”.

You are startled thinking that the words ” HULK SMASH!!” will soon follow. But no,it is the guy on the bench pushing up 20kg screaming at the top of his lungs while his mate assists the lift completely for another 5 reps leaving you pissed off because you know it really wasn’t that hard. Don’t get me wrong its cool to let out a grunt, growl or whatever when you are truly working hard, but as Arnie say’s “Come on, don’t bullshit me”

3.The Grunter: Similar to the Banshee but will grunt like an Ogre after every single rep, even during his warm up. What’s wrong with you? Stop sounding like your about to beat your chest, grab some woman by the hair and drag her out of the gym.

4.The Mobile Phone person: This person is often seen on the Stair Master holding a big time conversation which is usually continuing while you are on the way out of the gym 2 hours later. These people will rarely been seen with any kind of sweat on them as the speed on the machine does not even register as they are going so slow.

5.Mr Bicep curl in the squat rack: It’s a squat rack you nob not a bicep rack. If you were curling 100kg I would understand, but you have a 2.5kg weight on each side, piss off and use set weight bars so I can SQUAT!!! (If I know you and you do this, we are no longer friends)

6.Naked man who wants a conversation: Here at Neebone we believe that the only time men should be talking in the nude is during a Pornographic film. We will also give allowances to professional athletes in the team shower, but thats where it stops. The average person does not want to hold a conversation with a fully naked man with his foot up on the bench and with no towel in sight. It’s wrong I say, WRONG!!!

(No I don’t want to talk!!)

7.Well endowed bad attitude lady: This person is very annoying for the fact that she knowingly draws attention to herself due to her attire but returns the attention with a look that could freeze time. The common attire for this person is: A low cut top, which can be Lycra but always has ample amounts of bust showing(when we say ample we mean if she moves too much we are going to see nipple), Lycra leggings which will hold a nice amount of Derriere. Often the stomach is showing as well.

She tends to do excerises which appear to increase the size of her appendages such as: Seated Row, Bent Over Row and Stiff-Legged Deadlifts.

Now there is nothing wrong with wearing what you like to the gym, but if you have it all on show, don’t be mad when you have spectators.

8. Body Builder with suspect outfit: This guy is the biggest guy in the gym, but he decides to wear nothing but Lycra…short Lycra. He wears Lycra shorts that could be confused with Y-fronts and what you may as well call a Boob Tube. I have nothing more to say about that.

9.Huge Sweaters while working out: The two guys who wear 26-tog (relates to duvet size if you didn’t know) jumpers to the gym just to sit under the incline press machine; one giving assistance to the other “its all you man!”.

10.The two guys who are at the gym for the first time: These guys are soooo annoying. They are dressed like they are going partying and just goof around putting on way too much weights on the bars nearly choking themselves. Usually one will watch the other choke and struggle to get the bar off his chest while hysterically laughing.

11. The Form Corrector: This guy isn’t in too bad shape but feels the need to correct every single person in the gym on their form or provide a better exercise to do. P*ss off and leave me to my workout, if I need help I’ll read a book

If you can think of anymore, let us know