Chuck Norris - Roundhouse sessions

“Alien vs Predator” is an autobiographical depiction of Chuck Norris’ first sexual experience.

Instead of having a cigarette after sex, Chuck Norris heads outside and brands his cattle.

Chuck Norris broke his own leg, purely for the sake of winning the special olympics.

Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters in his free time. And by “knit”, I mean “kick”, and by “sweaters”, I mean “babies”.

Those aren’t credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger, it is actually a list of people that Chuck Norris round house kicked in the face that day.

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

Most reported Bigfoot sightings are just Chuck Norris with his shirt off. Loch Ness sightings, on the other hand, are Chuck with his pants off.

Oxygen requires Chuck Norris to live.

The Earth doesn’t revolve. It’s just trying to get away from Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris invented the spoon because using knives to kill people was just too easy.

Chuck Norris can eat soup with a fork.

Heart disease may be the new leading cause of death in women age 45 to 65, but Chuck Norris is still the leading cause of death in men age 0 to 125.

Chuck Norris can hear silence.

Chuck Norris challenged a statue to a staring contest. Chuck remains undefeated.

Pi is not infinite. It stops when Chuck Norris tells it to.

Jesus’s Birthday isn’t December 25 but Chuck Norris once sent him a birthday card for that day, Jesus was too scared to tell Chuck the truth. Thats why we celebrate Christmas