Decoding Men And Women

WOMEN’S ENGLISH:

1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = You’ll be sorry
6. We need to talk = You’re in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = You’ll be dead meat
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = I’m close to exploding, you moron!
10. You’re certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

MEN’S ENGLISH:

1. Yes = Yes
2. No = No
3. Maybe = Maybe
4. We need = We need
5. I am hungry = I am hungry
6. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
7. I am tired = I am tired
8. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
9. I love you = Let’s have sex now
10. I am bored = I’d like to have sex with you.
11. May I have this dance? = Do you want to have sex?
12. Can I call you sometime? = I’d like to have sex with you.
13. Do you want to go to a movie? = I’d like to have sex with you.
14. Can I take you out to dinner? = I’d like to have sex with you.
15. I am sorry = I am sorry to have married you
16. We need to talk = so you calm down, you hysterical nut.
17. Sure, go ahead = You’ll do anyway what you want
18. Do what you want = and I can watch sport.
19. I don’t think those shoes go with that outfit = I’m gay.