In a daring breakout being described as the greatest in British history (not really), 12 squirrel monkeys escaped from London Zoo and into Regents Park.
The monkeys are languishing in trees, but are being monitored constantly by park staff.
…story continued

Smell my finger

Two men have been arrested in Berlin for placing cement filled footballs around the city. The balls were chained to lamposts alongside a message saying “Can you kick it?”
Two people have been reported injured.
..full story

“OLYMPIA, Wash. - A practical joker got a taste of revenge when friends turned part of his apartment into a human-sized hamster cage, complete with shredded newspaper bedding, a six-foot exercise wheel and a giant water bottle.”
…story continued

A 43 year old woman is being charged with assisting her daughter in making cookies containing laxative which were given to a teacher.
Julie hunt is now being charged after four seventh and eight grade chidren were made ill. The girls aged 13 and 14 used a whole box of laxative pills.
…story continued

Middle Creek High School says that whatever you do during school hours must be in keeping with the rules of the school - even if you’re at home.
So when Ryan Biggar, 16, and his 17-year-old girlfriends off-campus program was cancelled, they decided to go home to her house to have some … erm … fun. […]

A Wal-Mart employee found a 20-year old unable to get off his ass in a store bathroom on Sunday night. He’d been glued to the seat.
“The man had gone into the bathroom and sat down,” said Lt. Cheryl Rantz of Salisbury PD. “He was banging on the wall when the employee came in.”.
Maybe he’ll wipe […]

“Stephen Harper Eats Babies. Stephen Harper Eats Babies. Stephen Harper Eats Babies,” said the scrolling message onboard a Lakeshore GO Transit train.
The electronic sign that usually displays transit updates and advertisements was hacked by a person using a remote control device to program scrolling electronic signs. The message managed to stay up for three days […]

Porn and gangsta rap. That’s what a cable company are claiming have been ordered by a 62-year old retired school teacher in YONKERS, N.Y.
“They are harassing me and trying to make me pay for something I didn’t do,” said Claudia Lee.
She says she’s being forced to pay $779 with another $652 to come later or […]

Parents are suing a Massachusetts town and its school system over a book entitled “King & King” which was read to children.
The class of around 20 kids, aged 7, were read the story without permission from parents.
The lawsuit states that the school had “begun a process of intentionally indoctrinating very young children to affirm the […]

Mick Jagger has booked up the first floor of the five-star Imperial Hotel in Vienna, Austria, for a June gig by the Stones. The problem is, President Bush wants them!
Bush’s people tried to book a £3,600 suite for a summit meeting, but alas, Mr Jagger beat him to it days before.
“White House officials had wanted […]

It sounds too stupid to be true, but truth is (as usual) stranger than fiction.
Background: Man goes back to friends flat for a sleep over. Man goes to toilet. Man comes back but goes to wrong bedroom (where friends flatmate is sleeping). Man starts boning flatmate, thinking it’s friend. Friend think she’s being screwed by […]

Officials had to contact the mother of a young girl excusing her from jury service after a blunder at Bristol Court Service.
A letter had been sent to 4-year old Beatrice Ball ordering her to attend a trial at Bristol Crown Court .
“She found it hilarious. Beatrice is bright for her age but this is ridiculous.
“She […]

Jeremiah Ransom was on his way back from a Pirate vs. Ninja event at the Wesley Foundation. At the same time, Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearm (ATF) agents were involved in a Project Safe Neighborhoods training near the Georgia Center.
Ninja + ATF = poor replica John Woo movie
“It was surreal,” Ransom said. “I was jogging from […]

Fed up with theft and car break-ins, Andy Sacchitella took it upon himself to turn the tide.
“They keep trying to steal our Chrysler New Yorker, [..] We have to deal with waking up at every little sound that happens outside. It is just a horrible existence. It really is.” said Sacchitella.
When Sacchitella first moved to […]

Working on an ATM near LaSalle Bank in Detroit, a woman was bound, gagged and shut inside the closet-like space of the machine.
At about 7a.m., an armed robber forced the woman into the space and tied her up; stealing the money from the ATM and the womans company car.
90 minutes later, after customers to the […]

Courtland Page Johnson, 30, from NAPLES, Fla., paniced when a pet snake he had wrapped around his neck started biting him as he was driving.
Johnson was seen to be driving erratically and eventually crashed his PT Cruiser into barracades. He then proceeded to wrestle with the snake, and then drove off.
Johnson told police that he […]

A cat from South Carolina survived an amazing fall of 80ft from a tree.
The cat, Piper, had been stuck in the tree for eight days before a rescue was attempted. During the rescue, Piper missed a footing and plunged to the ground.
Watch the footage (Katu.com)

Another press plug for MySpace.com after freshman Tim Willis had his computer gear seized by Secret Service agents, after he posted dodgy song lyrics about President Bush on the site.
Willis had altered the lyrics to “Bullet”, a punk rock song, to refer to the assassination of Mr Bush. I guess those in the SS don’t […]

“So, Scientology, you may have won THIS battle, but the million-year war for earth has just begun!”. That’s a quote by Trey Parker and Matt Stone, co-creators of South Park, which featured in Variety magazine.
“Temporarily anozinizing our episode will NOT stop us from keeping Thetans forever trapped in your pitiful man-bodies.”
It looks as if the […]