Confused?

A girl phoned me the other day and said “Come over, there’s nobdy home.”. I went over. Nobody was home.
During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.
I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
I’m […]

Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go…
Would you like to take this knife out of my back?
You’ll probably need it again.
——————————————————–
Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
Did you ever find out who the father was?
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Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
(Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia)

… Berger testified, “that not only did we not know what we didn’t know, but the FBI didn’t know what it did know.”
Sandy Berger - National Security Advisor, Clinton Administration

Ananova reports that a Canadian teenager, now 19, stole her mums camcorder and sold it to a friend for £100. However, what the girl didn’t know is that her mum had been bumping uglies and recorded the footage (probably to sell on ebay) on the camera; forgetting to remove the tape.
Her mother called the police […]

Why the hell is that on packs of silica gel? We got a new backup drive at work and with it came a pack of the gel. “Do not eat”. As if I was hoping they would be kind enough to put something edible in the box, JUST in case I get hungry after unpacking […]

… it takes an even bigger man to laugh at that man.

… or that’s gotta hurt!

http://www.arouse.net/despair-linux/
As an Ubuntu user …