Chuck Says “No!”

Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart lost.
Little kids enjoy lighting ants on fire with magnifying glasses. Chuck Norris enjoys lighting little kids on fire with ants. Scientists have yet to find out how this feat is achieved.
Not only does Chuck Norris talk in the third-person, he sees in the third-person.
Most men are […]

“Alien vs Predator” is an autobiographical depiction of Chuck Norris’ first sexual experience.
Instead of having a cigarette after sex, Chuck Norris heads outside and brands his cattle.
Chuck Norris broke his own leg, purely for the sake of winning the special olympics.
Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters in his free time. And by “knit”, I mean […]

Scientists have actually calculated that dark matter is, in actuality, Chuck Norris. He recently flew to the west coast and threw off the Pioneer 10 probe by 400,000 miles.
Scientists have also not yet revealed the real reason behind the ban on human cloning. The real reason human cloning is outlawed is because scientists fear Chuck […]

Chuck Norris interviewed by Tony Danza on the “Chuck Norris Facts” phenomenon.
Watch the video

The popular videogame “Doom” is based loosely around the time Satan borrowed two bucks from Chuck Norris and forgot to pay him back.
Chuck Norris can count backwards from infinity.
In fine print at on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris , […]

Chuck reported to have roundhouse kicked the site owner. MR T pitties the fool.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Chuck Norris doesn’t shave; […]

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse… horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but […]